growing up to be god

this.

this is the sound of my heart breaking open

against the wall of my soul.

this.

this is my small self doing big battle

with my highest truth.

ego and spirit

at the sometimes tragi-comic

crossroads of the abyss.

is there anything more bitter or sweet than this.

even the thought of this opening brings tears.

the world is in my face

and my teachers daily challenge me to check and study myself,

to stretch the edges of my heart...

to grow beyond the false boundaries

that my small mind has set up for me

to feel safe, and secure.

i reel.

and rage.

and arrange this crazy war around me

to protect this teeny- tiny self against the

pain of growing up and being god.

but it is no use.

for truth has aligned with my soul.

truth is best friend's with my spirit from the day i was born.

truth takes out her big compassionate sword and

cuts through my bullshit... with love.

and now there are only two things i can do:

one choice my ego loves for she can continue to rule-the- roost and pretend she has control...

the other means her slow death...

and that true nature will soon be revealed.

this is the game.

and it's game over when my highest self is finally

and absolutely absorbed in the soul of god.

when I and I become one,

or rather (because they already are one),

simply realize their oneness.

this is the goal

and the path.

radical self-realization

through complete self-acceptance.

here the war ends. when the heart breaks open,

and the light floods in...

and the ego, now seeing herself as a humble servant of that higher power,

gives up her drama, and steps back behind the scene.

ego bows to the journey,

and bows again to the goal,

allowing intention to take precedence over action.

being over doing.

accepting gradually that her role is just this--

this releasing,

this relaxing,

this letting go of everything she was ever attached to.

this falling fearlessly into

the sweet arms of divine love!